Restless...

JPs Java- Round 2

2009-08-10T09:27:00.000-07:00

So here I am once again at JPs Java in Austin, Tx... the birth place of my blog. About fifteen months ago I set up camp in a cozy corner of this coffee palace establishing an outlet for my camp experience. Although I have a mere 14 posts (laaaame), this blog has subtly stirred my passion for writing once again. So please accompany me as I attempt to express my thoughts of the day.

First of all, I think you should know that I am eating a cookie right now. Not a weak, flat, should-have-bought-the-better-brand-chocolate-chips cookie, but a hefty sized, packed with dough, only goliath could fit the whole thing in his mouth at once cookie. It is fantastic.

Second of all, I just dropped off Otha at the airport (could possibly contribute to the cookie consumption). Not an easy task. I apologize to anyone present at the Austin airport this morning and having to witness "that couple". Yep- the couple that has eyes locked on each other, sappy smiles, hand holding as if superglue exploded all over their fingers. Usually I am ultra conscious to not be that couple, however this morning was so worth not caring... maybe I should have just worn a shirt saying: sorry everyone- he's leaving for 10 months. TEN MONTHS. I could have a baby in that amount of time- long time. Although I have been aware of this inevitable occurance all summer, it's still difficult to wrap my mind around such a long period of time being away from each other. No phone calls, random texts through out the day, hiking together, hangin out with him and the roommates... nothin. I am so thankful that we have email and skype these days. Aaaand I am pretending that he is simply studying abroad. twice.

Despite the hardship of being apart, there's a whole slew of things that excited me about this upcoming season! I mean come on, Otha gets to experience the rich culture of Morocco! Through teaching and living in the community, he will gain a deeper understanding of a Muslim lifestyle, concoction of linguistic influence, and new aspects of God's character. It's exciting to think of how much he will grow over the next year! In the land of College Station I will also be able to truly focus on my community without spending all my time with a cool kid named Otha. This will allow sweet, sweet time with my roommates and friends. Also, being involved with IJM, Comchurch, work, and what was that other one? oh yea-school, will soak up my time like a sponge... naturally not leaving much left to spend with a boyfriend. So there are definite blessings to us being apart and not having a distraction, yet still be able to pour into each other in creative, God glorifying ways.

Third of all, it's beautiful to think back a year ago and how much God has done in my life. I am so thankful for the people in my community- their honesty, compassion, and consistency. Last fall a woman who I respect immensely sat me down and talked through a thick list of things that I needed to surrender/work on. Although overwhelming at the time, God has changed so many of those things in my life. I have learned to rest, slow down, spend time with my roommates, not feel like I need to be close to every person I meet, not find my affirmation in guys, not thinking I am the best version of Jesus, not mandating myself to constantly be productive, the list goes on and on! I still have a long way to go, but it's encouraging to see how much more I appreciate the little things in life. Surprisingly enough, life a mile a minute has taken it's toll on me. It's great to stroll for awhile and take in my surroundings instead of sprinting to my next destination, then the next, then the next... ugh exhausting just typing about it.

Reflecting on the past gives me so much hope for the future. If God refined that much last year, how much more can he refine me in the years to come! I hope to continue finding a balance between involvement and rest, take further steps towards my desire to open a cosmetology school, and love people thoroughly this next semester. It's gonna be a solid senior year ladies and gentlemen.

Well my cookie has now been defeated. My energy- emotionally & physically- has also been defeated... so I am going to take a glorious nap.

Oh & I should mention I am soooo excited to see Peggy, Tina, & Ellen TOMORROW.... whoop for tennesse, kentucky, & michigan. Work at a camp. Make cool friends.

Until the next cookie... goodnight.

Lingering Questions

2009-05-26T18:00:00.000-07:00

Once again I find myself facing the question of time lingering before me.

How much time does he have? Do you think she will make it for three more days? What if I leave in the next 24 hours? I was planning on coming home next week, will that be to late?

This is round two ladies and gentlemen. On my toes, dancing around the ring, fists up... fighting death that slowly disintegrates my family. What if death punches first, can I jab back in time to delay the next attack? Last round with my lovely grandma her soul left without a last goodbye, knowing she would not even know my presence. Instead tear drops fell upon my porch and journal in College Station as I reflected on her crazy/beautiful life and said goodbye in my own intimate way. Several days later I made my way home to celebrate Betty Wilson with my family and her close friends.

Here I am once again in College Station, attempting to impossibly predict the timing of death. My Gramps is getting tired. He has fought a hard and long fight, holding off defeat with the hope of sweet victory- seeing his grandchildren return from Egypt in 5 days. F i v e d a y s. Can he make it? Does he have it in him to fight death for 120 more hours?

I sit here questioning whether I should drop everything now and run to the side of the ring to cheer him on. Or can I leave in 2 days? Should I leave tomorrow? Will I regret waiting 2 days when he only had 1 day left in him?

Ugh. My eyes sting from tears and my body screams for sleep. A time to live, a time to die... not originally intended by our creator; my mind struggles to comprehend the pain yet inevitability of death. What is the balance? How do we grieve well? Is it possible to cry for the loss of an individual and feel a wave of negative emotions all the while knowing he/she was old and physically could not make it any longer?

Despite all of these questions swirling through my mind, I know I have a God who is bigger than all of this. Who is all-powerful and loving beyond comprehension. His being exists outside the human concept of time and death. What a HUGE and BEAUTIFUL King I serve! I have seen His peace in my parents as they have tackled an emotionally trying season of life losing their own parents both physically and mentally. While I am a waterfall of tears, my mom gently reminds me that God is in control. All the time. My parents' trust in the Lord is steadfast and challenges me to search my heart for lack of faith, letting go of my desire to control. The spirit consumes their being as they embrace each season of life with hope, trust, and surrender... displaying for all to see their decision to follow something bigger than themselves. If anything, this time of loss has cultivated a deeper appreciation for Bob and Beth Wilson. They not only stand out as extraordinary parents, but as strong man and woman of faith who are truly striving to die to their flesh daily. I love them both beyond words. Because of that love, I want to love their parents deeply and therefore bring me back to the question at hand that ripple effect into the million other questions in my head.

How do I love the dying well?

"So this is my prayer: that your love will flourish and that you will not only love much but well. Learn to love appropriately. You need to use your head and test your feelings so that your love is sincere and intelligent, not sentimental gush. Live a lover's life, circumspect and exemplary, a life Jesus will be proud of: bountiful in fruits from the soul, making Jesus Christ attractive to all, getting everyone involved in the glory and praise of God." Phil 1:9-12

I want to strive for this. It won't be pretty- I will trip and fall on my knees, have dirt on my face, and holes in my clothes. But at the end of the journey I want to have given it my all. Loved much. Loved well.

What this looks like in regards to my grandparents, I don't know. Absorbing wisdom, support, and love from those around me gives me confidence that I can take one step at a time in figuring this thing out. All I know is I need prayer grace as I attempt to live fully and abundantly in Christ all the while praising His name during times of death.

"Lord you have been our dwelling place throughout all generations. Before the mountains were born or you brought forth the earth and the world, from everlasting to everlasting you are God." Psalm 90"1-2

Let's Talk Fashion

2009-01-21T01:47:00.000-08:00

Mmk... the order those three words fall in would typically never come out of my mouth. Fashion + Becca = rare combination. However, I observed and experienced multiple interpretations of fashion while traveling over Christmas break.

Let's begin with the airport. Seeing as we left my house at 6:30 AM to catch our flight I simply threw on extremely comfortable clothes for the journey. "Comfortable clothes" in Becca's world means being a great candidate on the show What Not To Wear. I was a black and gray cotton blob slugging through the terminals. Old school sweats with pockets... gray t-shirt... gray fleece... black and gray hiking boots... black backpack... even a black hair thing; let's be honest- if anyone gave me a double-glance it was out of horror.

I'll admit it... Greek women outdid my fashion just a tad. As my parents and I ascended up the stairs to the streets of Athens we officially entered the world of boots. Gorgeous boots. Whether a female the age of 5 or 60 or anywhere in between she would be rockin the boot scene, usually worn with some sassy attitude and confidence based on apparel. Not once did I observe a woman in sweats or a t-shirt. The typical getup consisted of hair down or in a creative updo, short dress, tights leading down to beautiful boots with heels, also topped off with matching jewelry, makeup, and of course: the ever-classy cigarette.

So we go from high class sexy clothing trends to modestville headquarters. Egyptian women have an elegance and grace about their long, draping clothing from head to toe. If I were Matt Nathanson making his music video for Come On Get Higher I would have incorporated Egyptian fashion- what? Let me explain. There is a line that includes the words "swing of your hips" which is precisely how the clothing flows about the women in this African country. It's a beautiful swaying back and forth of fabric down to their ankles as they move about life- Sheek is apparently the word they prefer to describe their fashion (according to my lovely sister). Even though only 4 words of the song apply to their garb the lyrics danced in my head the entire time we were there.

Also most Egyptian women do not have to fret about the status of their hair when in public because their heads are covered in scarves of all colors and designs. So as I am debating whether to rock the messybun look or curl my hair in the morning, women on the other side of the world are selecting which piece of fabric to cover their hair with to complete the outfit. Some even cover their faces with only openings for their eyes. It's a unique experience to only be able to see someone's eyes and the rest of the body being a mystery... what does their smile look like? what's the complexion of their skin like? are their ears pierced? In one sense I feel like I am missing the opportunity to experience that individual in their entirety, but on the otherhand the eyes of a person tell so much more than any other part of the body could ever do justice. Like they say- eyes are the window to a person's soul.

It intrigues me that a girl can wake up in the morning, put on her most trendy outfit, and be completely out of fashion somewhere else in the world. Even wearing my cutest clothes that I had packed in both Greece and Egypt I felt completely out of the fashion loop... and in different ways for each country. Heck, I feel out of fashion in my own country. Who decides what is trendy anyway? Once upon a time my old school sweat pants were hip and cool- now they are a clothing tragedy. Point being I think people should wear whatever they want without the pressure of fitting in or keeping up with the latest magazine. If that means sportin the sweats and t-shirt... wear them proudly. Dress and heels... feel confident. Cowgirl boots and jeans... strut your stuff. The possibilities are endless, along with your attitude so choose to feel beautiful now matter what you wear. Afterall, the people who matter are only looking at your eyes.

Omelets VS Yogurt

2008-12-28T11:50:00.000-08:00

I will never forget when my parents gave me "My First Cookbook"... yep, there were even little cartoon chefs holding kitchen utensils surrounding the title of the book. My feelings fell nothing short of ecstatic. Each page pleasing to a my eyes with pictures and simple directions; I felt independent, capable, and eager to improve my cooking skills.

Of all the delightful options to partake in making, omelets held the gold medal in my world. There were even a few occasions where I made my entire family omelets for dinner- allowing each member a specialized order. Whipping around the eggs in a bowl and hearing the sizzle as each drop hits the skillet... sprinkling toppings at just the right time... delicately folding the fluff without breaking the masterpiece... I seriously felt more powerful every time I slid the finished product onto a plate to serve. Despite any messes I made, I never doubted my skill in the kitchen and thoroughly enjoyed every minute of it.

Let's fast forward about 12 years. Omelet?? Cooking?? Turning on the stove?? No time for such a thing. Yogurt- that's where it's at. Quick. Healthy. Portable. The only thing to clean afterwards is a spoon... stick it in the dishwasher and vwa la! Done! I can confidently say that I ate yogurt an average of at least every other day this past semester.

Recipies stare me down now screaming of time consumption and a messy kitchen. 45 minutes of preparation for 10 minutes to actually eat it. And my lack of practice has legitimately affected my ability to accomplish anything worthy in the food preparation department. One of my roommates always finds it amusing when I attempt to bake or make anything... "It's always so funny when you cook"... "I never know what to expect when you make something"... "uh, oh becca's in the kitchen"... it's an expectation that when I prepare real food something is bound to go wrong.

The time between my first cookbook and present-day I have slowly convinced myself that I just don't cook. And since I don't cook and am not home to do so that I am void of the hospitality gift. It's self-fulfilling prophecy really.

Over dinner this break my parents and I were joking about my dad making the dressing and me boiling eggs and how both tasks have an unpredictable outcome with us in charge. This soon evolved into my dad and I in charge of all the side dishes for Christmas dinner. And it was a success. I enjoyed being in the kitchen, nothing went wrong, and I thoroughly enjoyed being a hostess. It's a pleasure to serve people in my home.

So I realized that I had talked myself into an extreme way of life- not a surprise. Because my main gifts don't directly point to hospitality or domestic skills I had strayed completely clear of those things wanting to venture outside of the home. But I can cook. I can host. I can be domestic. Am I going to cook consistently now? Or stay home a ton? Not likely. I still live a crazy, fun, and fast college life consisting of yogurt on the go and grabbing a tortilla out the door. But will I be more confident in surviving a more domestic lifestyle post-college? Will I seek a more well-rounded life? Definitely.
I might even whip up an omelet in the meantime.

Restless? Not so much...

2008-12-25T15:36:00.000-08:00

As I've allowed the past four months to slide by blog-less, my life lessons have continually evolved to contradict my blog title. I have been learning to rest. To slow down. To take a break. To STAY in one place with a joyful heart. Interesting how life comes full circle, each experience carving more intricate detail in our individual sculptures. Just as the Lord finished a glaze glistening over the part of my heart emphasizing my desire for change, he began chiseling on the opposite side of my heart.
Often I cop-out of a challenge to slow down my life pace, simply brushing it off with the excuse: that's just how I function. Yes, it's my natural tendency to fill up every minute with purpose. Meetings, coffee dates, phone calls, emails... If I have a spare hour it means I am forgetting someone I need to talk to or something that needs to be done. Although I thrive in a go-go-go world, neglecting to rest has been a pride issue; pride always comes before the fall. And I fell. Even in my attempt to embrace a more restful lifestyle I fell. I wanted to be intentional with it, scheduling in "relax" time throughout my planner determined to excel in the obstacle placed in front of me. But that's just not how it's done.
I am slowly learning to be ok with saying no to time fillers, extra half hours here and there to just relax, leaving my phone at home...
In the grand scheme of life I have made minimal progress. But I have to be ok with taking one step at a time instead of sprinting to the finish line to check off the lesson on my to-do list.
I am so thankful for people in my life who are waaaay more gifted in this area and have been extremely patient with me. Next semester will hopefully be more of a balanced lifestyle as the Lord continues to chip away, making more of a masterpiece than I could ever imagine.

it's been sooo long

2008-08-16T19:45:00.001-07:00

so here's the deal- i am the worst blogger EVER and have not kept up with this at all!
I don't even know if i want to attempt to capture life since the last entry...
day camp with 5th grade girls- crazy, challenging
residential camp with 9th grade girls- absolutely amazing and had the opportunity to pour a ton of life experience into them, they are incredible girls!!!
adventure camp with 10th graders (& JIF)!!!- more challenging than the last one, but great bonding with Julia, and the YD staff
day camp with 1st grade girls- so fun, all they wanted to do was hold my hand and tell me whatever they were thinking
office aid- sooo much fun! amazing conversations/ learned so much about the Lord/ bonding with new people... more on that week later
adventure camp again- beautiful, peaceful, so much fun

Other occurrences...
*there are like 10 people left... everyone went home and that has been incredibly difficult
*Julia and I raced to see who could eat peanut butter the fastest out of Rusty's armpits
*sisterhood of the traveling pants 2 with the girls
*hiking at Mt. Si- sooo beautiful
*every night is a sleepover
*God has been answering prayer like there is no tomorrow!
*God spoke to Al and I through a 12 year old... i will eventually write an entire blog about it
*i officially have a chaco tan- ugh

So I don't know how I feel about returning home. Part of me is SO excited to see everyone and catch up on the real world and what's been going on. However, the other part of me feels sick whenever I think about leaving. This summer has been beautiful and amazing! God has shown up over and over and over again and I hate the thought of being separated from the other people who experienced that with me. It's been such an incredible community of believers who are willing to grow and be molded by the Lord! well that's all I feel like typing about right now...

Can it get any better?

2008-07-04T23:03:00.000-07:00

So this past week was absolutely incredible!! I really haven't done yet what I've been hired to do, but it's been awesome!!
Two other SAMBICA staff members and myself went with 10 high school sophomores to the mountains of Washington for Adventure Camp.
Rock Climbing... for two days.
White Water Rafting.
Inflatable kayaking down a river.
Backpacking hike beginning at 11pm, gave the campers a compass and a map and arrived at a "camp site" at 2am.
Challenge Courses.
And beautiful beautiful time with Jesus!!!!
Seriously one of the best weeks of my entire life- and that is saying a lot.

Campfires, Sunsets, and Jesus

2008-06-25T21:19:00.000-07:00

So the view right now is... immaculate!! I can't even begin to describe the blend of colors, reflection on the water, horses grazing in the field, mountains in the distance, the sun gently gliding down behind them... AHH IT IS BEAUTIFUL!!!
God has been so so so faithful this past week =). Ya know when he reminded me that he will provide me with what I need and when I needed it? Warm Beach Camp. For this week, I am at Warm Beach Camp a little ways away from SAMBICA with 14 other people from camp working with campers with special needs.
I needed rest... we had saturday, sunday, monday, and all nights off.
I needed girls that I could connect with... 13 girls from SAMBICA came and we have had a beautiful chance to get to know each other, have heart to heart talks, be crazy and real with each other, and establish incredible friendships.
I needed to take time to appreciate more of God's beauty... every sunset is absolutely breathtaking and draws me closer to him.
I needed to live out more of my passions and be reminded of the way God has wired me... I get to hang out with a guy with autism all week and remember that God has put a soft spot in m heart for his children with special needs. I never want to neglect that passion.
Seriously, he has just given me so many opportunities to rest in him!
We've also just had and uber amount of fun singing ridiculous camp songs (such as one about a hot dog man in front of a bunch of people that we didn't know at a family camp- the most ridiculous song EVER) and learning about each others' quirks. Smore's are always a camp plus along with getting really dirty all the time and smelling like campfire. whoop.
I am super excited to get back to SAMBICA to see the rest of staff again and to pour into the kids from that area!! It's like my home in Washington and I'm ready to return =).

mmm hmmm

2008-06-19T22:44:00.000-07:00

"I will give you what you need, when you need it"
These are the words the Lord continually spoke over me tonight.
It was a beautiful time with Him! The leadership set up stations for us to go through and get our hearts focused on God for journey ahead of us. As we began, FREEDOM kept coming to my mind. The rest of the time freedom rang so true through the stations- watching the crucifiction on the passion of the christ, surrendering our burdens, and being served by leadership.
It was so beautiful having the opportunity to write our burdens on a rock and throwing it in the lake- freedom. I realized that "insecurity" summed up my burdens I have been carrying and defines the sin I have always struggled with. The moment I let the rock hit the water a huge peace came over me knowing that I don't have to worry about those things anymore and the Lord has taken those- forever- like i can't get them back. Then the leadership washed our feet which is seriously like one of the most powerful thing that exhibits the lords love for us!!! absolutely amazing. It was such a beautiful time of surrender and trust!!!!!
He is going to provide what I need and when I need it. And that my friends, is beautiful.

SAMBICA- whoop!

2008-06-19T17:25:00.000-07:00

Sooo I have safely arrived at the beautiful camp of SAMBICA and made it through 4 days =)

First impressions- beautiful, simple, small... and a lot of people i didn't know. They stuck us in a fairly tiny room right after arriving and gave us all sombreros to wear and said "go meet people". overwhelming. I don't know who I met or where they came from or if i even wanted to stay- ahhh. And there are people from absolutely everywhere- which is beautiful b/c they were all called here specifically for different reasons =).
I've been able to run every morning with a group of girls- I am officially sore. These girls are stinkin fast and are sooo dedicated that i look like the laziest person in the entire world.
The majority of this week has been training- boring. But we have had some adventures such as taking our swim test in the coldest water i have ever been in- ever. AAaaand tubing was also a blast =).
Everyone is super nice and surprisingly there's a good handful that have really really thick southern accents which i am picking up so fast that i don't want to talk. So don't be surprised if i come back with a huge southern drawl from ... seattle. weird.

Good ol' Derek says it pretty well...

2008-06-11T12:52:00.000-07:00

"poverty is so hard to see
when it’s only on your tv and twenty miles across town
where we’re all living so good
that we moved out of Jesus’ neighborhood
where he’s hungry and not feeling so good
from going through our trash
he says, more than just your cash and coin
i want your time, i want your voice
i want the things you just can’t give me

so what must we do
here in the west we want to follow you
we speak the language and we keep all the rules
even a few we made up
come on and follow me
but sell your house, sell your suv
sell your stocks, sell your security
and give it to the poor
what is this, hey what’s the deal
i don’t sleep around and i don’t steal
i want the things you just can’t give me

because what you do to the least of these
my brother’s, you have done it to me
because i want the things you just can’t give me"

Let's not be neutral. Let's not skid by with the occasional charity here and there and check it off our morality card. He wants all of us.

Wrestle with it, it's more difficult than we think

2008-06-08T20:49:00.001-07:00

So I sat down with the parentals when they were watching some TV show where a lady had a solemn look on her face speaking slowly into a radio microphone...
"Sometimes the words just don't come... and we are left with silence."

Sometimes that is exactly what we need. Silence.

Oh Summer...

2008-05-28T19:37:00.000-07:00

There is a sweet and beautiful freedom that comes with summer for those of us still in the official education stage of life. Even if we have to work or take classes, the pressure and craziness tends to decrease and the wonderful sun graces us with its rays. Talking to a friend on the phone about her summer, I ended up rambling on and on about endless opportunities to tackle life in the next couple months that really cause us to dig deeper and be proactive to find what we are passionate about. I realized that last summer was probably the best summer of my life.
Interestingly enough it was one of the very few summers that the Lord called me to stay home. I was begging Him to show me where to go abroad and pleading for the call to leave America for some crazy out of the blue adventure. The Lord does not work that way. Often those who want to stay He calls to go... and sure enough sometimes those who long to go He calls to stay.
Not gonna lie, I was pretty frustrated with the typical go home do take summer school and work kind of thing. I constantly long for adventure, new people, new culture, crazy challenges, and a deeper level of loving people; God gave me these exact things... but at home.
So I came into the summer knowing that I wanted more- that I wanted to experience transformation in a brand new way, and was ready to reach a brand new level with God. *Oh my goodness, the Lord does not kid around when He was when we ask, we will receive!* I began my journey on the most transformational season of my life yet. I'm sure I will touch on this transformation in the future, but more than that I want to recognize that God answers prayers.
He is so faithful to respond to the cries of our hearts!!
So as I think about the summer in front of me, I am forced to examine the desires and cries of my heart for camp... I am longing for authentic community among the staff at SAMBICA. Yes I hope that we get along and friendships are built, but more than that I desire for us all to take one step closer to Christ through selflessness and truly surrender our own wants for someone else's. We will experience fatigue, possibly homesickness, and be emotionally drained at times- this is when we HAVE to be intentional. We need to take care of one another and function as the body of Christ. We need to go that extra mile to help someone else on staff finish their duty, or spend more time on our knees in prayer for someone who is struggling, or be willing to give up that favorite hoodie for a co-worker to wear because they haven't done their laundry. It's the daily choice of surrender that creates unity and community.
I am also longing for supernatural rest. The Lord knows that my body cannot take much more, and every ounce of me cries out for a break. However, I also know that God specifically called me to SAMBICA and I truly feel like He wants to bless me in this manner (ironic because it is a camp). I feel like I am going to be poured into in beautiful new ways and with this will come more challenges and opportunities to process more of His character. Going to the west coast, I know that I will be a baby in my faith compared to some who don't have the support of a church on every corner of their city. This is so exciting!!!!!! I desire to be taught what it means to truly walk against the current of this world in confidence and knowledge of God. The Lord has blessed me with the ability to love all day long, but has definitely given me room to grow in the area of knowledge. I need to be challenged in what I believe and why I believe it. I need to be challenged to have God's word truly written on my heart. I need to be challenged by interacting with kids who flat out don't want to know the Lord because they are content with their lives and have everything that they need to survive. We can all survive this world without the Lord. But we cannot truly live. I want to bring life this summer.
*whew* this is a lot... but there is more. I want to change lives and have my heart changed outside of camp. Being so close to Seattle, I really really really want to go there at least 3/4 of the Saturdays that we have off. I feel like the spirit is drawing me there and there is someone specific I am supposed to meet. I have no idea if this will be a regular customer at a coffee shop or a man who currently does not have a home and is seeking shelter in the new center- either way I want to have a soft heart that is willing to listen and discern the spirit. I just feel like the Lord is going to pour into me during camp, and squeeze it out on the weekends. It's just beautiful how the Lord allows us to interact with him!!!! So pretty much I have no idea what is going to happen =). All I know is that I have a God who is ever-present, powerful, and intimate all at the same time... and that is enough for me to know right now.

My brother is pretty legite.

2008-05-17T18:17:00.000-07:00

As I sit in JP Java in the beautiful city of Austin, I find myself 110% more relaxed than I have ever been in the last 12 months of life. This is the perfect escape. Not only do I get to rock this amazing city with a breath of freedom and independence, but get to spend time with family and friends that I absolutely love!
I realized how much I adore my family yesterday as we celebrated my brother and future sister-in-law's graduation. Brandon and I have always been pretty close in the fact that we hardly ever fight unlike the typical sibling dynamic, but it runs much deeper than that. The more I tell my story, the more it becomes apparent of Brandon's influence in my life. I cannot cannot count the number of times I heard people talk about his character with awe and give him an incredible amount of respect for being a pillar of internal strength and faith. Also, walking by his room my entire life and seeing him reading the Word or another type of literature that challenges his heart to dig deeper for the messy and beautiful love of God has inspired me to want more. To stand firmer. To desire a new level of intimacy with the Lord. To transform the lives of those around me without saying a word. I can honestly say he has been the most influential believer in my life.
If you have never met my brother, I hope that you one day have the utmost blessing to do so. He does not come in a loud, spotlight, outgoing kind of package. A funny/witty comment here and there or one word statements (which I now realize where I picked that up from) that make me laugh even when I think it's the most ridiculous thing ever covered by a quieter personality makes our time so enjoyable. But more than his humor, he has a heart that explodes with patience, love, and understanding. This guy's faith can move mountains. Some of my most memorable moments with him have been simply standing next to him as he worships the Lord with a raw, simple, and transparent posture and heart. Brandon leads through quiet obedience that captures attention and respect- it is one of the most beautiful images of Christ I have ever seen.
One time a friend of mine was trying to make a decision about the right choice to make and asked someone else in the room: what would Brandon do? Sounds a lot like the whole WWJD thing. Freaking awesome. That is what we long for- to represent Christ. This particular person did not know the Lord, but knew Brandon; so if people can't ask themselves what Jesus would do, then heck ask what Brandon would do- because Brandon is an ambassador and representation of Christ. They will eventually realize that it's not actually Brandon, it is something inside of him that provides endless/unconditional love through him. That is beautiful.
I could go on and on and on about Brandon and never truly capture his character and love for the Lord, so I apologize for those who don't know him and for those who do- not being able to do him justice.
I am so excited to see what this next year holds for him!! I have complete trust in his future knowing that it's not going to look normal or maybe even "successful" by the world's standards... but he is going to change lives by looking people straight in the eye and washing their feet with the love of God. He is going to lead a beautiful family to bring greater glory to God starting a week from Monday- whoop!! So I urge all of you to pray for protection over their marriage and their time in Egypt over the next year- they are going to do big things.

the blogging begins...

2008-05-17T17:50:00.000-07:00

So I have chosen to blog for several reasons...
1. While I am at camp I will have limited access and time to communicate with most of you =/
2. This will force me to truly reflect on what God is doing around me and in me on a consistent basis in order to write about it
3. If I neglect to journal as much as I would like to, this will help capture my memories for the summer

However, I cannot promise I will keep up with this depending on what this summer entails! I also am giving a disclaimer for lack of entertainment... I am not a witty blogger- simply trying to capture my thoughts =).