Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Oh Summer...

There is a sweet and beautiful freedom that comes with summer for those of us still in the official education stage of life. Even if we have to work or take classes, the pressure and craziness tends to decrease and the wonderful sun graces us with its rays. Talking to a friend on the phone about her summer, I ended up rambling on and on about endless opportunities to tackle life in the next couple months that really cause us to dig deeper and be proactive to find what we are passionate about. I realized that last summer was probably the best summer of my life.
Interestingly enough it was one of the very few summers that the Lord called me to stay home. I was begging Him to show me where to go abroad and pleading for the call to leave America for some crazy out of the blue adventure. The Lord does not work that way. Often those who want to stay He calls to go... and sure enough sometimes those who long to go He calls to stay.
Not gonna lie, I was pretty frustrated with the typical go home do take summer school and work kind of thing. I constantly long for adventure, new people, new culture, crazy challenges, and a deeper level of loving people; God gave me these exact things... but at home.
So I came into the summer knowing that I wanted more- that I wanted to experience transformation in a brand new way, and was ready to reach a brand new level with God. *Oh my goodness, the Lord does not kid around when He was when we ask, we will receive!* I began my journey on the most transformational season of my life yet. I'm sure I will touch on this transformation in the future, but more than that I want to recognize that God answers prayers.
He is so faithful to respond to the cries of our hearts!!
So as I think about the summer in front of me, I am forced to examine the desires and cries of my heart for camp... I am longing for authentic community among the staff at SAMBICA. Yes I hope that we get along and friendships are built, but more than that I desire for us all to take one step closer to Christ through selflessness and truly surrender our own wants for someone else's. We will experience fatigue, possibly homesickness, and be emotionally drained at times- this is when we HAVE to be intentional. We need to take care of one another and function as the body of Christ. We need to go that extra mile to help someone else on staff finish their duty, or spend more time on our knees in prayer for someone who is struggling, or be willing to give up that favorite hoodie for a co-worker to wear because they haven't done their laundry. It's the daily choice of surrender that creates unity and community.
I am also longing for supernatural rest. The Lord knows that my body cannot take much more, and every ounce of me cries out for a break. However, I also know that God specifically called me to SAMBICA and I truly feel like He wants to bless me in this manner (ironic because it is a camp). I feel like I am going to be poured into in beautiful new ways and with this will come more challenges and opportunities to process more of His character. Going to the west coast, I know that I will be a baby in my faith compared to some who don't have the support of a church on every corner of their city. This is so exciting!!!!!! I desire to be taught what it means to truly walk against the current of this world in confidence and knowledge of God. The Lord has blessed me with the ability to love all day long, but has definitely given me room to grow in the area of knowledge. I need to be challenged in what I believe and why I believe it. I need to be challenged to have God's word truly written on my heart. I need to be challenged by interacting with kids who flat out don't want to know the Lord because they are content with their lives and have everything that they need to survive. We can all survive this world without the Lord. But we cannot truly live. I want to bring life this summer.
*whew* this is a lot... but there is more. I want to change lives and have my heart changed outside of camp. Being so close to Seattle, I really really really want to go there at least 3/4 of the Saturdays that we have off. I feel like the spirit is drawing me there and there is someone specific I am supposed to meet. I have no idea if this will be a regular customer at a coffee shop or a man who currently does not have a home and is seeking shelter in the new center- either way I want to have a soft heart that is willing to listen and discern the spirit. I just feel like the Lord is going to pour into me during camp, and squeeze it out on the weekends. It's just beautiful how the Lord allows us to interact with him!!!! So pretty much I have no idea what is going to happen =). All I know is that I have a God who is ever-present, powerful, and intimate all at the same time... and that is enough for me to know right now.

Saturday, May 17, 2008

My brother is pretty legite.

As I sit in JP Java in the beautiful city of Austin, I find myself 110% more relaxed than I have ever been in the last 12 months of life. This is the perfect escape. Not only do I get to rock this amazing city with a breath of freedom and independence, but get to spend time with family and friends that I absolutely love!
I realized how much I adore my family yesterday as we celebrated my brother and future sister-in-law's graduation. Brandon and I have always been pretty close in the fact that we hardly ever fight unlike the typical sibling dynamic, but it runs much deeper than that. The more I tell my story, the more it becomes apparent of Brandon's influence in my life. I cannot cannot count the number of times I heard people talk about his character with awe and give him an incredible amount of respect for being a pillar of internal strength and faith. Also, walking by his room my entire life and seeing him reading the Word or another type of literature that challenges his heart to dig deeper for the messy and beautiful love of God has inspired me to want more. To stand firmer. To desire a new level of intimacy with the Lord. To transform the lives of those around me without saying a word. I can honestly say he has been the most influential believer in my life.
If you have never met my brother, I hope that you one day have the utmost blessing to do so. He does not come in a loud, spotlight, outgoing kind of package. A funny/witty comment here and there or one word statements (which I now realize where I picked that up from) that make me laugh even when I think it's the most ridiculous thing ever covered by a quieter personality makes our time so enjoyable. But more than his humor, he has a heart that explodes with patience, love, and understanding. This guy's faith can move mountains. Some of my most memorable moments with him have been simply standing next to him as he worships the Lord with a raw, simple, and transparent posture and heart. Brandon leads through quiet obedience that captures attention and respect- it is one of the most beautiful images of Christ I have ever seen.
One time a friend of mine was trying to make a decision about the right choice to make and asked someone else in the room: what would Brandon do? Sounds a lot like the whole WWJD thing. Freaking awesome. That is what we long for- to represent Christ. This particular person did not know the Lord, but knew Brandon; so if people can't ask themselves what Jesus would do, then heck ask what Brandon would do- because Brandon is an ambassador and representation of Christ. They will eventually realize that it's not actually Brandon, it is something inside of him that provides endless/unconditional love through him. That is beautiful.
I could go on and on and on about Brandon and never truly capture his character and love for the Lord, so I apologize for those who don't know him and for those who do- not being able to do him justice.
I am so excited to see what this next year holds for him!! I have complete trust in his future knowing that it's not going to look normal or maybe even "successful" by the world's standards... but he is going to change lives by looking people straight in the eye and washing their feet with the love of God. He is going to lead a beautiful family to bring greater glory to God starting a week from Monday- whoop!! So I urge all of you to pray for protection over their marriage and their time in Egypt over the next year- they are going to do big things.

the blogging begins...

So I have chosen to blog for several reasons...
1. While I am at camp I will have limited access and time to communicate with most of you =/
2. This will force me to truly reflect on what God is doing around me and in me on a consistent basis in order to write about it
3. If I neglect to journal as much as I would like to, this will help capture my memories for the summer

However, I cannot promise I will keep up with this depending on what this summer entails! I also am giving a disclaimer for lack of entertainment... I am not a witty blogger- simply trying to capture my thoughts =).